Rules of Drinking: 100-51

Hey there! Since I haven't got to do a list in a while I thought I'd do an ultra, mega list. That's right, it's so big, it needs two parts. But here we go with the 100 Rules of Drinking. Here are 100-51. Let them replace your Bible.

100. Happy Hour is every hour.
99. Karaoke is always a good idea.
98. If you puke on someone, they are allowed one free shot at you.
97. If you need to go pee, nature is one big bathroom.
96. It doesn't count if you can't remember (unless, of course, you were a virgin before)
95. Food is sobering. Please avoid.
94. Driving sober is not fun. But neither is getting arrested.
93. Nursing is for hospital workers. If you can't keep pace, get out of the race.
92. Drinking CAN be a race but only for the brave.
91. At any sporting event, you should have at least one drink.
90. Don't get so angry--being drunk is supposed to be fun.
89. At bars, don't try so hard. If you're having fun, the fun will come to you.
88. Drinking game rules are made by the host and should be followed to a "t".
87. Every shot needs a toast.
86. Your cocktail waitress doesn't REALLY like you. You're just a tip.
85. Getting too deep is for sex--not drunk conversation.
84. It is your duty to embarrass your friends.
83. If you pay for drinks in change, look for spit.
82. Every four months of a relationship gives you the right to one day of a bender when you break up. (12 months = 3 days) After that, get over it.
81. You must, at least once in life, get drunk with your father.
80. If someone offers to buy you a shot, you don't get to complain about the taste.
79. You don't need an excuse to drink, you need one not to.
78. Fruity drinks taste good and are acceptable, so fuck you if you don't like me drinking it.
77. You don't need other people around to drink, they need you.
76. Alcohol does make you more smooth, so get hit on her.
75. When you go to bars, always bring a condom, males and females.
74. It's not wrong to go out with bad looking people as long as they make you look better.
73. If you're just bobbing back and forth, get the hell of the dance floor and make room for my awesome skills.
72. Winners of dance-offs, indeed, are guaranteed to get laid.
71. Counting your drinks is for pussies and, is thus, forbidden.
70. As long as she/he's 18, no judgement shall be passed.
69. Pass judgement at every turn on everyone.
68. If you brag about how drunk you are, you are too drunk or an amateur. Or both.
67. Music should be turned up very, very loud.
66. It should also be sung very, very loud.
65. Vacation = Bender
64. If you can't do the shot, at least one person has to call you a "pussy."
63. Buy women drinks but not ALL their drinks, that's just dumb.
62. There is no such thing as too strong a drink.
61. If a girl buys you a drink and you don't hit on her, you better be gay or married.
60. If you don't have a corkscrew, there's no wrong way to open the bottle.
59. Talking to someone while drunk peeing is highly frowned upon.
58. You can drink your roommates beer, as long as you've known him/her for a year.
57. If you're drunk, it's forgivable to forget a guy/girl's name, provided you've never met them before. But don't admit it
56. If you think you're slurring, then you are.
55. If you're gonna fight, always make it someone drunker than you.
54. If you're at a bar without your significant other, you're fair game.
53. The fuller beer is always yours.
52. Bringing booze to a party means you either finish it or it's the party's.
51. If you drink at work, drink vodka. It looks like water.

50-1 coming tomorrow.