Drinking Rules: 50-1

Back to complete the 100 rules of drinking. Introductions, you are overrated.

50. There are no "wrong" songs to dance to as long as you're drinking.
49. Try new drinks as much as you can, but always have a go to.
48. No matter how drunk you are, don't use any racial slurs. They will get you mauled.
47. Outdoor sex is advisable.
46. Thou will not waste any booze above well in a mixed drink. The stuff was meant to be tasted.
45. Never, ever turn down a shot from a girl. Ever.
44. Don't be the guy who gets too drunk and makes everyone leave early.
43. If your hosting a party, you can't act that surprised if your house gets destroyed.
42. BYOB= Bum Yours Off Bobby
41. Anyone with two or more drinks gets the right of way.
40. Drink whiskey and/or tequila all night, and they might as well put out an arrest warrant for you
39. There's no better way to get to know someone else's culture than by drinking it.
38. There is definitely sex in the champagne room. It just costs extra.
37. Straws are for women and Mind Erasers.
36. You got a high drinking tolerance? Prove it.
35. Yeah, you're gonna be hungover tomorrow. Deal with it.
34. Salted snacks, while drunk, are sex for your mouth. Unless you're giving head.
33. You don't smoke if you only smoke when you're drunk.
32. Never admit you spilled the drink.
31. Stolen Booze > Free Booze
30. Don't piss off the bartender.
29. Tip him/her well. Especially if they're cute.
28. Compliments and one-liners are cheesy, but they work better than "Hi, My Name is..."
27. Never pass out with your shoes on.
26. If a girl wears heels out to a dance bar/club, she is trying to impress you. Or that other guy.
25. Getting animals drunk is extremely amusing.
24. Someone stealing your drink is akin to someone stealing your dignity.
23. "Makin' It Rain" in the club is not as cool as black people make it sound.
22. After 5 drinks, you are smarter than everyone. Make sure everyone knows it.
21. If people are switching off rounds and you say you'll just pay for yourself, you're a cheap ass. Go home.
20. If the girl you're hitting on keeps getting texts/calls, there are 2 options: 1) she's got a boyfriend. 2) she's a slut. either way, who cares?
19. Time heals all wounds. But whiskey does it faster.
18. Sometimes when I'm really drunk, I don't want to have sex with you. Head would do nicely.
17. Making out on the dance floor makes everyone else awkward. Keep doing it.
16. A girl will not dance with you or respond to your advances if you stand around looking at her for 10 minutes debating whether to go over and talk to her. Just go do it.
15. Buy a girl enough drinks and she should at least fake an orgasm.
14. If you're not sure if someone's a guy or a girl at a bar, don't ask.
13. Surround yourself with fun drunks and you will have a fun time. Unless they're sober.
12. Always buy booze for your underage siblings/friends.
11. If a guy says "I don't dance" to a girl who wants to dance, he also doesn't want to get laid.
10. Never ask a friend with a girlfriend to be the D.D. You will likely have to leave early.
9. At least one time in your life, buy your best friend a really good bottle of his favorite booze.
8. Wine gives the worst hangovers, not drinking it gives the worst regrets.
7. If you throw up and keep drinking, someone definitely has to be your drinks for the rest of the night, since you're a hero.
6. When life gives you lemons, say "fuck the lemons" and order a beer.
5. Any girl will tell you, Good Dancer > Good Talker
4. If a girl likes a song, so do you.
3. Life is like a box of chocolates, it's better when soaked in booze.
2. Make one trip to your homeland and drink the drink your ancestors did.
1. Always break the rules.