Eat All Your Veggies or There's No Cocktails or TV for You!

As you know form reading this blog, I love TV and Movies. I'm a sucker for anything booze, obviously. So today, without too much of an introduction, I'm going to get straight into TV. I've done the best TV bars already, so obviously that's out. What shows have the highest alcohol content? LET'S FIND OUT! Here are the 6 Biggest Alcoholic TV Shows. We'll keep it current.

6. How I Met Your Mother
Alcoholic Characters: Ted, Barney, Marshall, and Robin. (No, I'm not forgetting Lilly)
Main Imbibes: Beer, Wine, and Scotch
Appropriate Alcoholism: Every episode of HIMYM has at LEAST one scene in a bar, if not many more. They drink every episode and more often than not, the characters often use the bar as a safe haven. They are people (like me) who don't know anywhere else to go to have fun but a bar. I swear Ted gets drunk almost 1 out of 4 episodes and the rest hide it well. Does it work? Sure, in the context of the story. But that doesn't mean they aren't alcoholics.

5. Family Guy
Alcoholic Characters: Peter Griffin, Brian Griffin, Cleveland, Quagmire, Joe.
Main Imbibes: Beer and Martini's.
Appropriate Alcoholism: Peter Griffin and friends (especially Brian) feature a wide variety of alcoholic tendencies. Now before you shoot me for not including Homer Simpson instead, just know that at least these guys are functional alcoholics. Quarmire's still getting laid, Joe's in a chair, Brian's a dog, and Peter's retarded. Cleveland's black in the suburbs, which is more than enough reason to drink. Their drinking makes the show a lot funnier. What's better than a drunk dog? Not much. Except a drunk baby.

4. Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations
Alcoholic Characters: Anthony Bourdain
Main Imbibes: Beer or whatever speciality is relative to the country he's in.
Appropriate Alcoholism: The Travel Channel's most popular show about a former cook, traveling to exotic destinations and sampling their food and drink, is quite entertaining. But Bourdain, a self-proclaimed over-imbiber, is drunk in almost every episode. Hey, when you're on vacation, right? That's how it must feel for him. When he's in Greece, they shove Ouzo in his face, in Russia, vodka, and so on and so forth. The Travel Channel's Iron Man seemingly is never hungover or is a freak of nature but he gets it done. It's almost impossible to say how much he actually drinks, but the show glorifies his boozy nature, so it's hard to doubt that he's less of an alcoholic than the first guy to stand up at an AA meeting.

3. The Real World
Alcoholic Characters; Everyone but the cameramen.
Main Imbibes: Everything but the mixers.
Appropriate Alcoholism: I really don't watch this show. All I really know is that MTV pours booze down the guests throats every single episode. I'm entirely convinced that most reality shows do this very same thing. People are much more interesting when they are drunk, their is no doubt. This show, on it's like 26 season or something, invented the technique. Get people drunk, make them live together, and film it. It's a very simple formula that led to the evolution of reality TV. So if you want to blame anything, blame The Real World and MTV for the Reality TV explosion. The Real World has always thrived on drama and there's nothing like margaritas to get a little drama started. By the way, this show sucks.

2. It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia
Alcoholic Characters: Dennis, Dee, Charlie, Mac, and Frank
Main Imbibes: Beer
Appropriate Alcoholism: There's nothing "appropriate" about the alcoholism on this show. But that's what makes it great. These guys own a bar and it seems like they drink more of their alcohol than their customers do. One has had a heart attack, one has been forced to join A.A., and there is excessive drinking at least once an episode, including children. Their hijinks are fueled by alcohol and stupidity, which might just be one in same. The best moments in the show take place in a bar or while the characters are messed up. The show is simple. Four vain, stupid borderline alcoholics own a dive bar. What else possibly COULD happen?

1. Mad Men
Alcoholic Characrers: Don Draper, Don Sterling, Freddy Rumson, Duck Phillips, Ken Cosgrove, Harry Crane, Sal Ramono, and most everyone that appears.
Main Imbibes: Basically anything but beer.
Appropriate Alcoholism: Every scene, every character, every man, woman, and the occasional child is drinking and smoking during every single episode of this show. Close an account? Pour a scotch. About to get off work? Meet at a bar in 10 minutes. Eating dinner? Pour yourself a glass of wine or beer. The 1950's were surely an era to booze and booze and then go and booze some more, provided you didn't vomit. This show, which you haven't seen I presume, is so brilliant in it's portrayal of America's "lost" decade. Think about it There were the Roaring 20's, the 30's and 40's were defined by war, the 60's and 70's both had their own identity, as did the 80's and 90's. Nothing THAT special happened in the 1950's. Mad Men does an amazing job of showing the people that were selling the decade that most have since forgotten. While they were drunk.
(P.S. If you haven't caught the show, you should start watching. But you must start from the beginning.)

There you have it, my first real list in a while. I hope you enjoyed it. Drinking is becoming more and more common, at least it seems, in movies and television. It seems kind of contradictory though. Back before the 70's, drinking and drugs were so faux paus in TV and Film, while people were getting drunk and high in reality like it was nobodies business. Now, drink and drug use is so much more common in film and TV, while people in reality see it as much more of a social faux paus. The world is a funny place. And hopefully this blog entertained you a little, teeny bit today. Until I see you next time, bienvenue an boneur!