The Weekend Battle: How much is too much on the 1st Date?

The Weekend Battle is back for the second week in a row and this week we have a great debate between myself and my alterish-ego that writes this ridiculousness. Why waste any time though? Let's battle it out Mikel Dolena! How Much Is Too Much Drinky On the First Date?

0-1 Drinks
How To Greet Your Date in German(y)
The Impression You're Making: I'm too nervous to order more than one drink because I (a) really like you or (b) want to leave as soon as possible.
Too Much? Not at all. Although it might seem a little weird if one of you orders a double martini and the other sticks with water. This is what most people stick with. Why you ask? Well, the answer is simple: most people don't like being judged. And a first date is basically a job interview. "Oh you've got relationship experience? You have a lucrative job? That large bulge in your pants isn't an iPhone?" All common questions that one gets on a first date. Unless you're Amish.

2-3 Drinks
"High-Five! Wait...No, I'm Breaking Up With You."
The Impression You're Making: I can let loose a little bit and I'm subconsciously wanting a little bit to happen tonight.
Too Much? It's only too much if you're the only one doing it. Drinking on a date is a good way to get to "know:" someone. Also, it depends what you're drinking. Two or Three glasses of wine? Nothing wrong with that. But if you're getting two or three long island iced teas you might wanna re-think your strategy. However, if you really want something to happen (I'm talking about sex, people) you should maybe bring up something like "Oh, maybe we should get a bottle of wine? I don't know about you, but I don't have to work tomorrow! HAHAHAHAHAHAA!" OK, maybe not. That sounds a little creepy.

4+ Drinks
In Soviet Russian, Mail-Order Bride Buys You!
The Impression You're Making: I'm an alcoholic, a slut, or I just wanna get laid tonight.
Too Much? Unless you're having a first date at a bar, this is just too much. You are a loose hussy. A crazy ho. Me and all my bro friends look down on your kind. Doesn't mean we ain't gonna hook up later though, boo. I'll take you back to my place, we can put on the Kool and the Gang CD, maybe pop open a bottle of some of that classy Arbor Mist wine you like. Mmhmm. Then I'll call you sometime later this week. If I get time, I'm swamped at work lately, girl. No, that girl in the picture by my bed is my sister, not my girlfriend, don't be silly! We aren't kissing, you're just a little drunk. OK, you should go though. My number is 550-55055. No, that's not 10 numbers. No, I don't have an area code. OK BYE!