Origins of Obscenity

When people are drinking, it's commonplace to get louder and looser with obscene language. But everywhere we go, there's different types of vulgarity. What is offensive here might go unnoticed somewhere else. I thought you should know this the next time you're traveling. Here's a Dolan's Guide to Foreign Offensive Hand Gestures.


V-Sign

Where It's Used: Britain, Ireland, Australia, and New Zealand.
What It Means: "Fuck off, you (French) twat"
It's Origins: During the 100 years war between France and Great Britain, the French would often threaten to cut off the shooting fingers (middle and index) of any archers that were captured. British archers would flash this v-sign (with the palm facing yourself, not the person you're flashing it to) in a sign of utter defiance. Also, they probably didn't believe the French would cut them off anyone. After all, they're French. The only war they've won is against themselves (French Revolution).


Bras d'honneur

Where It's Used: Spain, Portugal, Latin America, Italy, Poland, Russian countries.
What It Means: "Up Yours" or "Fuck Off"
It's Origins: Originated presumably in France, where everything dirty seemingly originates. The bras d'honneur (the arm of honor) is an insulting gesture since it implies someone sticking something so far up a certain opening that it can't go any further. Otherwise, there really is no origin story. Originally though, the French meant to be an ironic pick-up line in bars, since they have small penises.

Moutza

Where It's Used: Greece
What It Means: "Eat Shit" or "Take That"
It's Origins: In 7th Century BC Byzantine (now Istanbul, Turkey), a chained criminal would be paraded around town, sitting on a donkey with their face covered in cinder. Since "moutza" was the word for cinder in ancient Greek, it became known as an insult for a common criminal. Another theory is that these criminals had poop thrown at them and the moutza is how the thrower of poop's hand ended up after they threw it. It's vitally important that, when in Greece, you don't wave goodbye to anyone or show them the number 5 with your hands. Your wine will otherwise be garnished with a bit of saliva.

Open Palm

Where It's Used: Some African and Caribbean countries.
What It Means: "You Have 5 fathers" or "You're a bastard"
It's Origins: Since the loss of parents is much more common in poorer countries like Africa and Caribbean countries, there are more orphans than you could imagine. Thus, one of the more popular and offensive insults is the open palm, basically calling someone a bastard. It's really a sad insult, as poverty really has no winners. And if you did it in America someone would just give you a high five. Which might explain why that Egyptian guy was pissed at me when I high-fived him after spilling my drink on him last week.

Thumbs Up

Where It's Used: Iran, Afghanistan, Nigeria, and parts of Italy/Greece
What It Means: "Sit on my dick, asshole" (hey, don't blame me. i'm just the messenger....of awesomeness!)
It's Origins: Contrary to popular belief, in Ancient Roman gladiator battles, a thumbs up actually meant that the gladiator was to be killed, not spared. In many movies such as Gladiator and Spartacus, they get this historical fact very wrong. Thus, it already had the stigma of being the signal of death, so it made a very smooth transition to being the signal of someone calling you an asshole. Thus, if you're in any of the above areas, you might wanna find a different hand signal if you're gonna hitchhike. But if you're hitchhiking in Nigeria, Iran, or Afghanistan....hand signals are probably the least of your worries.