The Whiskey Chronicles: Let the Challaday Begin!

(Note: The Mailbag will be up on Sunday. More Questions: Welcome)

It is Chanukah. Now, I know most of you aren't Jewish. Neither am I! (pounds fist) But that's not what's important. What's important is that Jillie Mayer is Jewish and it is very, very much so in the middle of the challaday of her people. This is one of her gifts. You must be saying "you're writing a blog as a gift, that's pretty lame. It better be pretty good. What would you even write about?" Well, if you said that, that's pretty mean. But it is very, very good. What could I possibly write about to satisfy both this as an acceptable gift AND still keep in tune with my regular schedule blogging? Well, obviously it's Jillie Mayer herself. It'd be almost IMPOSSIBLE to fit all the good things about her in this tiny space. So we'll stick with 10 Great Things About Jillian Lindsay Mayer, Because it's Chanukah and This is How I Do.

(This is not a "best of" list or countdown, just 10 great things about her.)

10. Her Extension of Words

What Do I Mean: I mean simply this: the girl extends words like it ain't a thing. A extra g on excitinggg? Make it 2 extra! Why shouldn't there by 17 extra "y"'s in whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? Who am I to say? I had never experienced said phenomenon before Ms. Mayer stepped into the fold but now I have grown so accustomed to it that it might as well be part of my daily speech pattern. Interviewers LOVEEEEE it when they ask me how to make a margarita and it ends with me saying "Tequilaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

9. She's A Tad Bit Ridiculouso

What Do I Mean: Some people might be put off by a girl asking you how many people you've ever slept with the first time you ever meet them--but obviously not with J-May. Or maybe you haven't heard her sweatshirt as pants party? Well, ask and I'll tell you. I think all the homelesspeople in Bloomington know my middle name right now. It's all ridiculous, but in all honesty, it's just one of the things that make her so "Jillie," in a manner of speaking.

8. Her Moods are Pretty Contagious

What Do I Mean: Put simply, her moods spread around the room like Swine Flu. OK, bad analogy (Sorry Emily!), but you get the point. This is so true, sometimes it even works over text messaging. People that can affect the moods of the people around them are rare. But they are oh so good in that, no matter how bad you're down, they are there to pick you right back up.

7. She's Not Sensitive

What Do I Meannnnn: Another epileptic might be offended by jokes like "How do you get a free jacuzzi? Put an epileptic in a bathtub!" Not Lindz here. Oh no. Her epilepsy, height, religion? It's allllll good. And it really is good to laugh at yourself every now and then. That's why I've allowed jokes about my middle name, nerdiness, and, from now on, my dead iPod. Because it's always better when your romances are romantic comedies, right? Who wants to just be in a romance? Living The Notebook would be alot worse than actually watching it.

6. People Actually Read This Thing Now

What Do I Mean: When I started writing this blog, never did I once target sorority girls as my demographic. In fact, I pretty much wrote everything that would turn sorority girls away from here. Best Duels? How to Score Based on What She's Drinking? Jesus, don't even mention the mailbags. I still hear "I didn't buy dinner to get a hug.." But apparently I am Diet Tucker Max. And girls love Diet. It's because of the little munchkin that this here blog gets many views and the fact that I actually feel motivated to write...since there's actually people reading.

5. No Reservations

What Do I Mean: Well, she never remembers to book a table Wildfire even when I ask TWELVE TIMES! Clearly I'm kidding. She has displayed no reservations throughout my short (not a pun, unless you want it to be) time knowing her. Always up for anything, new or old, strange or clearly out of control, it's one of those things that is beyond the realm of my clever wordplay in terms of explaining it. But it's hard to find a girl that wouldn't break up with you for dressing up as Miley Cyrus lyric for Halloween.

4. Her Family

What Do I Mean: I'm sure if you've ever met my brunette ball of sunshine that you've heard at least a few stories about her family. They are ridiculous, out-of-control, and all together awesome. Luckily, I've gotten on their good side throughout the last few months. Some might think I should be overwhelmed. I say HA! Overwhelmed is for cowards and white people in dance contests. Nobody wants to be a honky fool, yo! And I mean, come on: someone needs to write letters to Oprah to make Oprah feel important.

3. Her Friends

What Do I Mean: I got my first glimpse of what Lady Ji's friends were like after our relationship became official--and I woke up with 12 friend requests on that Freindbookster thing. I've already mentioned their blog love. Their outpouring of awesomeness has flattered me very much. You can learn a lot about someone by seeing who their friends are and in this case, I've only learned great things about the The Girl Most Fine that is Four-Nine. (Hush, I'm running out of nicknames)

2. De-Tag

What Do I Mean: You may or may not notice that Sillie Jillie de-tags photos like it's going out of style. But that's not really what I mean in regards to this post. What I really mean is her way of "de-tagging" my consistently annoying compliments. Instead of getting annoyed (or showing that's she annoyed) with my obviously ridiculous attempts at flattery, at least enlightens my artery clogging cheesiness. (Secretly she lovessssss it though.)

1. She Can Fit in a Cage

What Do I Mean: Well, I mean this one is pretty self-explanatory. She can fit in a little dog cage. Yeah, and she's pretty short, I know, but that just makes her that much more unique and awesome. I feel like if you've ever seen Jersey Shore you know Snooki is the coolest. Why? Obviously cause she's so short. Short people are just like little balls of energy, fun, and, let's be honest: extreme attractiveness. There are some that might look down (no pun intended; ok, well kind of) on her height as a flaw. But NO! It just one of those things, that once you embrace it, becomes one their greatest attributes.