Bar Room Heroes

People generally drink at bars. That's a fair assumption, no? One thing about drinking is that it makes music so much better. Bars generally play music, another assumption I will assume you agree with. People have been rocking out since the stone age (get it?) and probably will rock on til our world comes to an awful, terrifying end. But until then we can destroy our livers and sing along. There are just some songs that just go with bars and drinking so well, that it's like they were written about or in a bar. Let us share our love of music and drinking, and review the 6 Best Bar Songs. Listen up and read on.

6. "Just a Friend"
Performed By: Biz Markie
Song's Chart Performance: Hit #9 on the Hot 100 in 1990.
Drunken Appeal: There are some rap/hip-hop songs that white people just love. If your a rapper, I've got a message for you: Sell out and cater to white people. We'll buy your shit like it's nobodies business. Anyways the funny, yet catchy baseline rockin' in this song is perfect for the bar scene. The chorus is a loveable singalong type dillio and hardly any fair skinned adolescent can resist. It's like clockwork. Give us something catchy and we'll POUNCE! BAM! Oh, and white people love funny music videos.
And here it is!:


5. "Closing Time"
Performed By: Semisonic
Song's Chart Performance: Hit #1 for five weeks in 1998.
Drunken Appeal: Bars sometimes need to kick people out. (Hey, even the people that work there need sleep. I know, it sucks, but I don't want my drinks poured by an insomniac.) This song is the perfect message for everyone that is just too drunk to notice what time it is. This song always gets the point across. It's like this song was written right after "Last Call!" was announced somewhere. A one hit wonder, yes, but it's still played at "closing time" every night at numerous bars around the nation. And it sends a great message: "Can you please leave? We want to pick up drunk girls too, you know." Touche, bar employees, touche. I respect you for your hard work. Unless it's throwing me out. Then I say "Fuck You, Bar Employees! Fuck you hard!" I know. I'm a vulgar drunk.


4. "You Shook Me All Night Long"
Performed By: AC/DC
Song's Chart Performance: Hit #35 on the Top 100 in 1980.
Drunken Appeal: When you mix sex and rock, it's bound to get drunk people singing and dancing. The catchiness is undeniable. And all guys tell girls this song is about what's gonna happen later tonight for them, even if they are premature ejaculators. AC/DC isn't my favorite band but this song, well, it gets it done. Any song that can simultaneously get both girls and boys up and make them both about sex at the same time is AWESOME in my book. I love it. How can you not? Shake it. All night long. I mean, what better have you got to do all night?


3. "Piano Man"
Performed By: Billy Joel
Song's Chart Performance: Hit #25 on the Top 100 in 1973.
Drunken Appeal: For christsakes! It's about a over-talented musician singing in a bar he's too good for! And isn't that the way everyone feels when they walk into a bar? Or the way they SHOULD walk into a bar? The song might be about a dive bar with seedy, lonely characters but those characters resonate with everyone. Whether you be a sailor or a pothead businessman, Billy perfectly captures the desperation and loneliness that comes with such a lonely place. Anyone that's ever been to a shitty, run-down place of business knows the type of characters that attend the establishment. But who knows? One day, you may very well be one of those creatures. And even if you're a little lonely, at least you won't be drinking alone.



2. "Livin' On a Prayer"
Performed By: Bon Jovi
Song's Chart Performance: Hit #1 on the Top 100 in 1987
Drunken Appeal: The workman's anthem, Bon Jovi had a bonafide sex machine of a hit with this song. It's got a great part to sing along to and the chorus is what popular songs die to accomplish. The song is just about a couple making it against all odds, financial, sexual or otherwise. And people love to be loud when their drunk. And this song is pretty damn loud. Who knows what the real allure is? The fact of the matter is that it's fucking fun as hell to sing even if every Bon Jovi song sounds exactly the same. This song kicks ass and (doubtfully) brings out the best voice in everyone. SO just enjoy it!



1. "Don't Stop Believin'"
Performed By: Journey
Song's Chart Performance: Hit #9 on the Hot 100 in 1981
Drunken Appeal: Critics be damned, this is my favorite bar song of all time. Steve Perry's voice is more angelic than John Travolta in "Michael," which is coincidently named after me. The lyrics, the voice, the beat. Everything about this song just screams desperation, hope, and awesomeness. And if your at a bar that plays this song, you probably need one of those three traits. It's a simple message sung like it's the most important thing in the world. And you know what? Maybe it just is the most important thing ever. After all, life's all about the journey. (pun is always intended around here)



I don't think it's wrong to assume that after you just read that blog, it was so good that you need a cigarette. I can definitely understand. So I'll let you get to it. Life's better with a little smoke in your lungs anyway, right? Well, maybe not, but who cares. I hope you enjoyed today's blogtastic blog of awesomeness. Enjoy what's left of your weekend mateys! Estoy bien, y tu?