Fans Driven By Drunk

Sports teams always try to keep fan excited and in the games. Noise, giveaways, and whatever else they can think of is used to make the crowd feel more a part of the whole experience. But what makes fans really involved in the game is alcohol. Let's face it, many people going to any game don't even care about the contest--they're there to get messed up. And there's nothing wrong with that. Unless you take it too far. You can be crazy, you just need to balance it right. It happens everywhere, all the time. So that's why we're going to round out The Most Entertaining Drunk Sports Fan Incidents, By Sports.


NHL
Game: During 2001-2002 season; Chicago Blackhawks at Colorado Avalanche
Fan: Karma's Bitch
Shining Moment: Coincidence seems to be just that: coincidence. However, there are things that happen sometimes that make us believe in karma, fate, destiny, or whatever you want to call it. During a Blackhawks/Avalanche game around seven years ago, Steve Sullivan of the Hawks got high-sticked in the face and had blood gushing out his nose. There in the first row close to the Hawks bench, a drunk Avalanche fan started laughing and heckling Sullivan, making fun of his injury. Sullivan let the douche be the douche but he would have the last laugh. Where the fan was sitting, it'd be almost impossible to be hit by a puck. Later in the game, goalie Patrick Roy cleared the puck out of play and it hit that very same drunk guy in the first row right in the head. The guy's girlfriend gave Sullivan a thumbs up and laughed at her beau, as he writhed in pain. And although that couple is most definitely divorced/broken-up, I'm sure her laughter did not heal his wounds. But when you get what you deserve, all you can help but do is tip your cap to the gods of cruelty. Or cry, if your a pussy.
I'd laugh harder, but dude had first row seats. Mad respect, bro.


NBA
Game: November 19, 2004; Pacers vs. Pistons in Detroit
Fans: John Green, A.J. Shackleford, and Charlie Haddad
Shining Moment: Anyone who's anyone that has lived the last 6 years has seen this brawl and knows all about it. And obviously it started with alcohol, mixed in with a little insanity and thuggery. The fans that started it have caused the NBA to ban alcohol after the 3rd Quarter and an increase in security, making it harder to screw around. Basically, they've ruined the fun of going to a games. It tarnished the NBA's image. Some laughed, some cried, some sued, but in the end there was no winner. Unless your a hockey fan that was bored at the game. Which was probably likely in Detroit. It just confirms my suspicions that Detroit is America's Worst Major City by far. Name me a city worse and you'll win a prize! Other than that, what is there to say? This brawl's been analyzed like a Brett Favre comeback. I bet you just moaned, if not out loud, at least in your head. Don't worry. He'll die soon. (Will his funeral be on live TV? You betcha! That'll be #1 on my "There's No Chance I'm DVRing This" list for all time.
One of the most shocking, unbelievable events in sports history.


Soccer
Game: Sometime in 2003; Hertha Berlin at Hansa Rostock. (Northern Germany)
Fan: Three drunk Deustches
Shining Moment: In 2003, three drunk German streakers ran onto the pitch at DKB Arena. They were promptly arrested but had delayed the game for quite a bit, since security was rather lax. (You'd think Germany would have strict security, since they don't tolerate anything that would generate laughter.) The team was fined 20,000 Euros by the German league for allowing this to happen. It's like an underage drunk driver coming from your house telling the cops he was not only drinking at your house, but you gave him the booze. He's fucked but so are you. So the team, not loaded with cash, decided to throw it back to the Nazi days and throw their fans under the bus (hey, they could have shot them). The team sued the streakers for the fine and for money to improve security. And it worked. Imagine if the Cubs sued all their fans that got drunk and interrupted the game. Half the city would be in court, including me. File this under "Things that would only happen in East Germany," along with "banning dancing," and "smiling."
There's no video of the incident, so enjoy all the German language scenes in Scrubs.


NFL
Game: October 30, 2005; Green Bay Packers at Cincinati Bengals
Fan: Greg Call
Shining Moment: In a battle of "Cities that No Longer Deserve Sports Teams," Brett Favre went into the final quarter down 21-14 and had thrown 5 interceptions. So on the final drive, during a false start, an extremely drunk Benglas fan tried to get in the act on defense as he stole the ball away from Brett Favre and ran the other way. And he almost made it to the end zone. Not even my lists of drunken fans can escape Brett Favre. But the fan, one Greg Call, paid the price for his drunken antics when he was taken down by a Dick Butkus impersonator. The fan would later say "I knew if I did it to Brett Favre, the clip would live on in infamy. Plus, I'm from Cincinnati. What the hell else is there to do?" [citation needed] But as any fan knows, if your going to run on the field, never do it during a football game. Unless you want to be concussed and suffer internal bleeding. Then down a few and go for it!


MLB
Game: June 4, 1974; Texas Rangers at Cleveland Indians
Fan: The "Fine" People of Cleveland
Shining Moment: Welcome back to Ohio, the only state to make the list twice! One night in Cleveland, the Indians thought it'd be a great idea to give away unlimited beer for 10 cents a piece to increase ticket sales. And, of course, it worked. What they forgot about is how, if you basically give unlimited beer away, people are going to be sloshed out of their faces. Before the riot later in the game, 5 different fans ran onto the field flashing and streaking. Things were thrown at players, including spit and empty beer bottles. In the 9th inning, with the game tied, a fan ran on the field and stole one of the Rangers' caps. He tripped but from the dugout it looked like he got hit in the head, so the Rangers charged the field to protect him, some carrying bats. A group of fans charged the field armed with knives, chains, and parts of the stadiums' seats. The Indians came onto the field, also armed with bats, to protect the Rangers players from getting killed. Rioters began throwing steel folding chairs, which hit a Indians pitcher in the head. Future Indians manager Mike Hargrove was involved in two fistfights, the head umpire was cut by a thrown rock and hit in the head with a seat, and everything from cups, batteries, chairs, radios, bottles, popcorn containers, and hot dogs were thrown. The game was forfeited to Texas. One thing was stolen, besides Cleveland's dignity, that would never be returned: the bases. It remains one of only 5 games in MLB history to be forfeited but is one of many games that have made the world think: "Man, Ohio sucks." If they weren't saved by LeBron, they might never have had a title of any kind in their future. (Lebron's gonna win me money. ehem*russo*ehem)
There are no videos of Cleveland, since YouTube has some standards. Instead, here's a video of babies throwing up, which is apparently more acceptable than seeing any event in Ohio history.


Now you know the dangers of not drinking enough at a sporting event. You will never be remembered unless you get drunk enough to cause some sort of havoc! I'm sort of kidding, but not really. Obviously my blog supports copious amounts of alcohol being consumed. Other than that, try and have a fun and drunk weekend. There's nothing better than going out and doing stuff you'll regret 15 seconds after you've done it. Those are the best things in life! Anyways, have a great weekend and hopefully we'll see each other early next week. Adios, chicas and chicos!