Tuesday, October 2, 2007

What a Joke

If you look around sports, it's not all about winning and losing. Take the Kansas City Royals. Their season has been over since April, but they need to stay loose to go out there and play for new contracts and the like. So, joking around is a part of sports. But there are just teams and people in sports that catch the ire of so many people consistently. So, today, let's examine the Top 10 Biggest Running Jokes in Sports. Because if sports were all serious, many Cubs fans would have committed suicide long ago.

10. L.A. Fans
You probably know that Los Angeles fans are notorious for arriving late and then leaving early. Why, after all, there is too much to do in Los Angeles to be sitting in a baseball stadium for 3 hours straight. Why do you think Los Angeles has lost not 1, but two NFL franchises. The fans are just not interested enough, when they could be laying on the beach or chilling in Malibu. Life's too good for sports out there.
Ex: Hey Merv, the fans are pouring in here to Dodger Stadium as the Padres get their closer up in the bullpen to finish this one off.

9. Paper Bags
Long since the Saint's were even decent, many football enthusiast came to know them as the "Aint's". Fans would show up with paper bags on their heads to avoid the embarassment of being seen at one of their games. Now, more than just Saint's fans bring the paper bag along with them. Many fans have adopted the tradition. However, this loses points due to the fact that there are a lot of bad teams out there and it's not funny if you have to go to a sporting event with a paper bag over your head. It is, however, hilarious to see your rivals fans.
Ex.:

8. Portland "Jail Blazers"
Ever since the likes of Rasheed Wallace, Damon Stoudamire, and numerous other criminals joined the team, the jail that is the Portland locker room is plagued with criminals. The Trail Blazers have had 22 arrests in the last 7 years, which, by any standards is ridiculous. It might be different if they were good, but they aren't. So not only do we laugh at their ineptitude, we HAVE to give this team a nickname. The basketball Gods could not have picked a better team name for this to use as a play on words. We only have to change ONE LETTER! The Jail Blazers. Unbelievable.
Ex.:Here's a site detailing all the arrests Arrests

7. Ridiculous College Bowl Names
College football has just not learned that "less is more" when it comes to the playoffs. There is close to 30 bowl games for teams and they only require you to win 6 games to be eligible. And to make money off of every single one, they hire sponsors for most games. How about the "Gaylords Hotels Music City Bowl" or the "Chick-fil-A Bowl"? The already problematic college football system has left no room for a playoff anytime soon. After all, what would we do without the "Meineke Car Care Bowl"?
Ex.: List of Bowls: Bowl Games

6. Legal Probelms
Now more than ever the media scrutinizes every move made by athletes. So when players, especially high profile ones such as Michael Vick, run into a little trouble with the law they get it from all angles.. As you may have notices, they really get burned in the media by talk show hosts, ESPN analysts, and other people who think they know everything. Legal problems also become a problem when players travel, as fans can get pretty nasty concerning criminal activity.
Ex.: Kobe

5. Matt Millen (GM of Detroit Lions)
If there has been a General Manager more scrutinized than Millen, he must have had a heart attack. He has made some questionable moves, taking receivers in virtually every draft when that's really not what they need. Detroit fans started a "Fire Millen" website three years ago, worn paper bags on their heads at games, walked out of games, booed the Lions to get him fired, and a radio station put together a "Fire Millen" march. Detroit has never made the playoffs under Millen and fans are dumbfounded as to how this guy is still in charge. Obviously, this has left him the brunt of a few jokes. I personally hope he stays in charge until he dies.
Ex.: Fire Millen

4. Major League Soccer
Now, with Beckham joining the league, the popularity of it has grown somewhat. However, the MLS is still a major stinker, with poor attendence and hideous ratings. No one from the MLS is laughing but the league is really a joke. Americans have their own football already and with so many sporting events on TV, it's really hard to create a fan base. I love soccer but this league is just pitiful. Unfortunately, it will probably take a miracle for soccer to really catch fire in the US like it is in the rest of the world.
Ex: MLS Ratings

3. Jean Van de Velde (golfer)
If you've ever watched a golf event where the leader is coming close to blowing it or starts to lose his cool, they will immediately cut to the clip of Van de Velde majorly blowing the 1999 U.S. Open. All he needed was a 6 on the last hole, a double bogey, to win. He hit it in the grandstands, he whiffed, hit it in the water, and then finally hit a miraculous shot that almost went in for the win but he settled for a seven instead. He lost in a playoff. Ever since then, Van de Velde has become the epitome of futility in golf and has never won a PGA tournament. Good thing he's French or I might actually care.
Ex.: YouTube Clip

2. The Chicago Cubs
As much as it pains me to say it, the Cubs are the biggest joke in the history of sports. But this list is about right now and they seem to be on the up and up. However, 99 years of losing, heartbreak, black cats, foul balls, misplayed potential game winning double play grounders by a surehanded shortstop. Do you want me to go on? You wonder why the Cubs fandom drinks so much? You, sir, are an idiot. After all Cubs fans have went through, it's amazing they still go to the games. Loyalty at it's finest, losing at it's best.
Ex. : Mean Anti-Cub Video by Some Gay White Sox Fan

1. Isiah Thomas and the Knicks
Well, if you know anything about sports, you know that the Knicks are a joke and it's Isiah Thomas' fault. Trading away 1st round draft picks for players like Eddy Curry, giving Jerome James, who averaged 2 points a game, 30 million dollars, washed up vets like Steve Francis, Stephon Marbury, and is involved in a sexual harrassment suit that will end up costing the Knicks $11.6 million. The Knicks are usually bear the brunt of many jokes, as they have majorly underperformed, from comedians, talks shows, and fans. Pretty much everyone, actually. It is simply baffling how Isiah Thomas is employed and hilarious that the Knicks suck so bad and get made fun of all the time. It's like when some person that everyone loves and you hate, gets caught jerking off in the bathroom in school. Then everyone starts making fun of him. And you laugh really, really hard.
Ex.: Isiah Thomas Pick Up Lines
YouTube of Knicks Losing

There you have it. Funny! Hilarious! Except for #2. Good Night and Good Luck

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