Viva La Revolucion!

Well, don't REALLY live the revolution, be the revolution. I'm pretty sure Che Guevera got it wrong and that's why he's dead. Oooooo boo hoo, poor little guy's communist revolution fails 40 years ago and I can't even make Che's dead jokes yet? Oh well. Maybe one day. But instead of spitting out bad humor (both in taste and laughs), today I'm going to tell you the 5 most important revolutions in American history that didn't happen in America. You'll be SHOCKED! SURPRISED! and AWED! at the effects these revolutions not only on their country, but on ours.

Numero 5: Zionist Revolution
The Zionist Revolution was one to give the Jews their own homeland instead of living in Palastine. Well they got what they wanted when Britain ended up renaming the place Isreal. Now we have that gloriously peaceful state there. All the fighting and hatred of the West becasue of Britain's actions has never stopped. By giving them Israel, they have created years of mass chaos inside the country. The United States now faces the threat of Iran arming, which they probably are because Israel has nuclear weapons. So if we ever piss off Israel and Iran, we might be a tid bit fucked up the ass.

Numero 4: Chinese Revolution
Oh, Mao, it's not like you cost us any trouble or anything. Well, this is the revolution that turned China into a communist entity that still threatens the good of democracy today. So, even after 50 years of plight for the Chinese, we still are in the same position that we were in when this revolution began. Except now the Chinese are slowly but surely taking over the world, both in numbers and money. Mao's takeover of China led to a personality cult, a 10 mil. casuality famine, and numerous persecution's that still occur today. I hate communism but you can't argue with results, i guess. This revolution has led to the most successful "communist" state to exist. (yeah, i'm including you USSR or Russia or WhateverTF you wanna be called.

Numero 3: August Revolution (vietnam revolution)
Ho Chi Mihn's revolution was one of the most important in America's 20th century for obvious reasons. The fact that we had to go in and try and bail the French out after they failed to keep tabs on their country says enough. The "Iraq War" of the 60s-70s took it's toll on both our country and the confidence of the American people in the President. It brought protest and almost a revolution of itself in our country during the time we were over there. Not to mention the enormous amount of casulties that we faced in our time there. What a senseless and unncessary loss of life, even more so than the Iraqi occupation that we face today. In this case, we just couldn't overtake communism, which also set a horrible example.

Numero 2: French Revolution
Now, besides the guillotine and the Dickens book and everything, the French Revolution actually set up most of the benefits of American society that we see today. It told the world that the people control their governments and not the other way around. The revolution actually set up the "democracy" idea. Although it didn't last in France for very long (the French can't even do the right thing right), it set up the ideals that America adopted and made the staple of what everyone West of New York and East of Los Angeles thinks is the right system of government. So it may not have been the most influential revolution for America, at the time it was occuring it really made an impression on the founding fathers, whether they admit it or not. This revolution set an example for what America sees today as the only system of government acceptable.

Numero 1: Iranian Revolution
After all these "glorious' revolution's, why is the Iranian one the most important? Well, maybe it's because of the enormous impact that it's had on the Iranian people. This revolution not only led to the overthrowing of the U.S. backed shah of Iran but also led to the people of Iran completely taking in the attitude you see in Iran today. It sparked the whole "hatred of US" thing and really centralized Islam in Iranian culture, which really doesn't help things for us. So the whole conflict we have with Iran and the inevitable (when a republican comes into power again) war we will fight with Iran is all because of this revolution. It made Iran into a completely Islamic state and has led to all of the recent conflicts that we have had with this country. So maybe it isn't the most important revolution in our history, but it will be. Oh, it will be.

So I hope you enjoyed this post, which was more applicable to my blog than the more recent ones. So enjoy this one and maybe I'll get back to my loyal blog readers soon with something so interesting that it blows all your minds. In the mean time, study up, party hard, and continue to enjoy my blog, which my new name indicates, is completely set to enjoy UNIVERSAL domination. Toodles and good night