The "Mel Gibson" Defense

Hey boys and girls, I'm back again and more focused than a fat kid staring at the Dairy Queen menu. But enough about fat people, I'm here to talk (or write, if you want to be like that) about alcoholics and addicts that you may not know...were....that. Shut up, I'm not an English major. So I'll list ya a few names that you may not know were sucking down my Grandma's martini's or sniffing a pixie stick-like powder. So light one up, pour one down, and read on. Or just read on.....


Do one shot if you didn't know.....
Pop diva "Fergie" was addicted to crystal meth and is/was sort of a whore
That's right, Fergie. As in THE Fergie. She says that it was, and I quote, "the hardest boyfriend I ever broke up with." Oh but that's not the best thing. She blames her addiction on the pressures of being a child actor. She also urinated on stage during a performence. Oh but that's not all. America's princess also went on a self-proclaimed sex and drugs spree when she was 18, has admitted to acts of lesbianism, and sings annoying songs that everyone, for some reason, absolutely loves.

Do a line if you didn't know.....
Drew Barrymore was the most fucted up kid of all time
Yea she was in rehab...twice....before she was 15. Now according to the wonderfully useful site wikipedia, the lovely Drew was smoking/drinking as young as 9, marijuana by 10, and cocaine by 13!!!?@?!?! She was out partying at nightclubs during this time, having sex with older men. She went to rehab when she was 13 years old. That didn't work. Went again at age 14. Then, she got married and divorced twice.....before she was 20. Posed nude for Playboy and appeared in 5 movies naked, also very young. Makes you kinda wonder if "E.T." was just one of Drew's bad trips.

Finish your beer if you didn't know......
hard-asses Samuel L. Jackson, Kiefer Sutherland (Jack Bauer on 24), and Jean-Claude Van Damme have all attended rehab
Although Sutherland was only an alcoholic, Jackson and Van Damme have both done their share of drugs. Van Damme was hooked on more coke than Lindsay Lohan, which explains alot actually, since he's pretty amped up in all his movies and stuff. Jackson's coke addiction, in which he overdosed, put him in rehab but also may have jump started his career by playing the role of a coke addict in an indie film. While Jackson and Van Damme recovered from their various addictions, Sutherland still openly admits to drinking...alot. So you wonder how these guys are able to yell, kickbox, and kill people constantly, it's probably because they are either drunk, high on coke, or just f'n crazy.

And do a "speedball" if you didn't know....
Colin Farrell was addicted to pain killers and a slew of other drugs
Although it's not surprising that Farrell was addicted to something, as he is a 2pack a day smoker, pain killers is an odd choice for the whiskey swilling Irishman. It seems that more and more people are becoming addicted to perscription drugs nowadays. Farrell's addiction to getting high, drunk, or sexually aroused all point to an early death for the man if he doesn't slow down. Honestly, how is it even possible to smoke 2 packs a day? Oh well, it's his life.

Sorry that this is so short but I'm experiencing a major case of apathy and writer's block at the same time. I'll try to better next. Until then, good night and good luck.