OH F*CK!

The work fuck has been around for ages. You might be interested to know that it etymology is from the German word "ficken" (to copulate), Dutch word "fokken" (to thrust), Norwegian word "fukka" (to copulate), and the Swedish words "focka" (to copulate) and "fock" (penis). Ever since, fuck has become the cornerstone of vulgarity in our society. Besides the words cunt and nigger, it is arguably the most vulgar word you can use. The word has seemingly taken over Hollywood. You may be wondering what films use it the most. Or you may not be but I'm still gonna tell ya. So, here are (excluding documentaries) the 5 Movies That Use Fuck The Most, Ever.

5. Running Scared (2006)
F*ck Count: 315 in 122 Minutes
Wayne Kramer's very memorable drama about Paul Walker's (Fast and the Furious 1+2) attempt to get rid of a gun that shot a cop, only to have it stolen by his kid neighbor. I shouldn't talk, as I haven't seen it but it got terrible reviews from critics, although it was liked by fans. The profanity isn't the only thing that might shoo away conservatives. Oh, No. Several instances of full frontal nudity, make meth in methlab, and a pedophiliac couple that abducts kids and makes them star in child porn.
Below is a clip that will surely take your breath away:


4. Summer of Sam (1999)
F*ck Count: 315 in 142 Minutes
You may wonder why this places forth, even though it has less fpm's (fucks per minutes) than #5. Well, this simply has much more profanity overall. Extreme violence, sexuality, drug use, and the Fuck word. Sounds like a winner to me. Gets bonus points for using the words "nigger", "spic", "guido", "linguine dick-motherfucker", and, my favorite, "daigo wop skank." Try and use any of those words in reality and you might get popped. (Bonus points if you say one of the last two to an stereotypical Italian).
Below is a video that crams all 315 fucks into around 4 minutes:


3. Twin Town (1997)
F*ck Count: 318 in an impressive 99 minutes
Drug addicted twins try to get back at a club owner for not compensating their father. I had never heard of this movie before I looked it up but it sounds alright, I spose. If you've ever seen "Trainspotting" (and if you haven't, you should) this is like the Welsh version of that. Except this is a comedy. That's a very rare combination: a comedy about drug addicts.
Below is a clip of the twins naked (no nudity), sitting in their bathtub, smoking pot:


2. Alpha Dog (2007)
F*ck Count: 367 in 118 Minutes
The most recent movie on our list stars the guy next door to The Girl Next Door, one of his nerdy friends from that same movie, the angel from the 3rd X-Man movie, and the guy who sings "SexyBack". They proceed to kidnap a 15-year old, get him wasted, high, laid, and dead. (Sorry, but you don't want to see this anyway) Have you ever sween Justin Timberlake try to act like a badass? It's sickening. This movie is actually based on a true story, which begs the question: is the guy who's played by Justin Timberlake happy with that portrayl of him?
Here is a J-T clip from the movie (WARNING: If you have a weak heart, are nursing/pregnant, or already hate J. Timberlake you may not want to watch. But you will get a plethera of insults to use against him if you ever meet.)


1. Casino (1995)
F*ck Count: 398 in 178 Minutes
The fpm's aren't very impressive but the profanity in Casino is unparralled in cinema. Throw in De Niro, Pesci, add a few Italians, thrown in a whore (Sharon Stone), and wha-la! I mean, are you really surprised that a Scorsese film is at the top spot? You shouldn't be. I'm not gonna get into to this film too much, as you've probably seen it. It's about the mob and casinos and fuck. Think about this: Casino, Goodfellas, and The Departed have 935 Fucks combined. THAT is impressive. The next best trio is 603 with Tarantino's Pulp Fiction, Resovoir Dogs, and Grindhouse.
Here's Pesci and De Niro cursing like there's no tommorow:


I should mention I left off the documentary "Fuck" which has 824 fucks (WTF?!) since it's not a feature film. I also left off Nil by Mouth, which has 428 fucks, because it's a British film and it's loosely based on the very exciting life of Gary Oldman (seen here). In honor of this column, go out and see how many times you can say the word fuck in normal conversation in an hour. If you can get to 100, you've got my respect but probably nobody elses. I hope you enjoyed this fucking column but I have to fucking go. Chingada tu madre, fokkof, and the only way the word fuck can get any better, tabernacle (the French version, of course).