Drunken Folly

There are nights that everybody has. You know, when you get so drunk that you either puke or blackout. What leads someone to gulp down copious amounts of alcoholic drinks? That is a very good question. The answer is a bit more difficult. Nobody really knows why people binge on booze. I, myself, can easily be drawn into doing any shot, competition, or drink having to do with alcohol simply by someone telling me I can't do it. Depression, joy, apathy, these are all feelings that drive people to their nearest watering hole. But it's not all feelings. So sit down, grab a beer (or two), read along, and ask yourself the very same questions that I'm asking myself. The answers might SHOCK you. (mine, not yours). But I feel like I should be honest enough with the small faithful who still gander at my blog. I am also on prescription grade painkillers for my shoulder. But anyways...
Is Dolan an Alcoholic?

1. Have you ever had so much to drink you threw up in public?
--Absolutely. While in Amsterdam, on my way back to the hotel after drinking and smoking weed with a sketchy Dutch kid, I puked up my strawberry pancakes all over the street, in the elevator, and right in front of my door. If anyone reading this had to clean any of that up, I'm sorry. I've never puked in public, from drrinking at least, but I also puked the day after I had to much to drink and we were at the Agora. It was not pleasant.

2. Have you ever drank an entire week in a row?
--Sure have. Since, I didn't have much class first semester of senior year college, I was going out alot. At one point, I had gone out 5 nights in a row, went back to Chicago after the last night, and definitely drank at least a few days in a row after that. Plus, recently I also accomplished this task but it's too depressing to list here on the blog.

3. Have you ever got so drunk you couldn't get "it" up?
--Sure thing. It's not that bad though when the girl your with goes down on you for 30 minutes trying to make it happen.

4. Have you ever been kicked out of a bar?
--Absolutely, in Kirksville during the Cubs playoffs I got kicked out for being obnoxious.

5. What's the worst thing you've done to someone while you were drunk?
--I'm more of a coward than a fighter, but the worst thing might have done is told my neighbor to "Shut the fuck up" on at 11pm on my 21st birthday. Or pissed on a car, I don't know whose, but uhhhhhh sorry, man (or gal)

6. Have you ever woken up somewhere you don't even remember being?
--Once at school I woke up on some guy's lawn and didn't recognize where I was, it was about a mile away from campus. I would have been confused, if I wasn't hungover as shit.

7. How often do you drink by yourself?
--About once or twice a week. Unless it counts with my dad, then zero. But whatever.

8. What are some things you regret doing under the influence?
--Well, there was this one girl, the time I almost got mugged, the day I broke my grandmother's crystal frame, rear ending some guy, throwing up on some girls expensive rug, throwing up on my computer, falling and dislocating my knee, accidently cockblocking, getting cockblocked and not saying anything, calling some guy's girlfriend when I was on shrooms and a few beers, taking 10 shots of whiskey in an hour, played 10 games of beer pong in a row while drinking for my partner, playing flip-cup with a full cup of beer, eating Taco Bell, and playing drinking games with a waterbottle full of tequila instead of beer.

9. What is the most times you've gotten drunk in a single day?
--4. I believe it was an ordinary Saturday at home, went golfing with the dad (1), came home and napped a little. Had a few cocktails around 2-3 pm (2), went out for dinner where I had 4-5 drinks (3), and had people over to drink later that night (4). I wouldn't reccommend going over 4. That would be a hospital visit.

10. Final Question: How would your life be different if you couldn't drink?
--Honestly? I'd have alot less friends, alot less fun, and things like "marijuana" would be used very, very often to offset. I wouldn't have gone to weddings as much as I have, I wouldn't go out as much, and I don't even know if my dad and I would have a relationship. Holidays would be boring, sex would last less time, and life, altogether, would be a little bit duller. Without alcohol, the world would be a blur that we all live through, with no outlet for our suffering, pain, and whatnot. Bars and booze help people. FACT.

Peace, I'm sure I'm an alc so no conclusion is necessary.