Hollywood's (Lack of) Vision

Hey there. I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack. Sorry for the delay but I am in summer mode here and don't really feel like blogging. But I will give you your fix of my blog for the time being and try and update it at least bimonthly. Today, I will enlighten you with my opinion on the summer movie season, overloaded with sequels and crap. Pretty much the same old Hollywood story.
Don't believe me? Here is a list of every sequel coming out this summer: Spiderman 3, Ocean's Thirteen, POTC 3, The Bourne Ultimatum, Shrek 3, Fantastic Four 2, Rush Hour 3, Hostel II, Evan Almighty, 28 Weeks Later, Live Free or Die Hard, Harry Potter and Order of Phoenix, and DADDY DAY CAMP.
Please, will someone come up with a new idea? If it wasn't for the comedic genius that is "Knocked Up" this summer would be full of horrible movies and movies that just are the Same Old Shit. But you know what? Me, You, and the rest of the known universe will still keep seeing these movies because of the lack of options. So let's review:

The Good:
Knocked Up, 28 Weeks Later, Harry Potter 39, maybe Bourne 3
Hey there, an original movie! What a concept! Maybe that's why it's gotten such good reviews, as well as box office success (knocked up, that is). Good comedies are few and far between nowadays and you should go relish the chance to see an utterly hilarious movie that is almost a sequel to the 40-year old virgin. 28, Potter, and Bourne all have the potential to be good I suppose but I haven't seen any of them so I'm really just guessing. They could all be awful, but Potter will destroy the box office success of Pirates and Spiderman, no matter how good or bad it is.

The Bad:
Spiderman 3, POTC 3, Shrek 3, Fantastic Four 2, Evan Almighty, Die Hard 4
Spiderman, POTC, and Shrek were all major dissapointments. None of these movies could match their original first movies in quality, although majorly outdoing them at the box office. Fantastic Four wasn't good to begin with, I'm kind of surprised they made a sequel, but then again, capatilize on the comic book movie while you still can I guess. Evan Almighty, the highest budget for a comedy ever, is rated PG and seems like it's gonna be a kids movie, which dashes any hope I had for the very funny Steve Carrell this summer, unless I watch Office reruns. Die Hard 4? Slowly ruining the legacy of the first 3. Just like Indiana Jones 4 will do when it comes out. Booooooooooo.

The Very, Very Ugly:
Rush Hour 3, Daddy Day Camp, Hostel II
What are people thinking? This list makes me wanna vomit. Rush Hour 3? It's a Chris Tucker sighting! Talk about what happened to your career, or don't because I don't really care. Daddy Day Camp? With CUBA GOODING JR.? Please, someone pour me a vodka. HOSTEL II?!?!?! On second thought, make that drink a double. The sad thing is that people will actually see these movies, spending over 8 dollars on these big pieces of dog shit that studios think will make money. I can't believe this. I'm going to go write a script for Big Momma's House 3 and see if it will sell because why not cash in on the retardedness of people.

Whew that was horrible. So don't waste the good weather inside at a movie theatre. Go to the beach, play sports, go to concerts, but whatever you do, stay away from your local movie theatre this summer. But really, who am I kidding, I won't even be able to.....