10 Events that Shaped America

Here are 10 events that have made America what it is today, in order. According to me, that is. I'll try to modernize it to make it a little more interesting

10. The Cold War/McCarthy Hearings
As I assume you know, the McCarthy Hearings, as well as the communist threat, inspired a new found paranoia in our culture. It largely shaped the policies and beliefs of many people. Morons.

9. JFK Assasination
JFK's death brought outrage throughout the country, not to mention more paranoia. It also kept us in Vietnam longer than we should have been, because Lyndon Johnson was just a retard. Plus, Kennedy was a pimp. I mean he had Marilyn Monroe, thats ass.

8. The Internet/Computer Invention
I think it goes without saying that this was a very important step in technology. Imagine life without a computer. So many young, desperate girls wanting to be actesses but instead turned porn stars would be out of jobs. Plus it spread communication, but thats not as important.

7. The Fucking Vietnam War
The biggest mistake ever, much bigger than Iraq. So unneccesary to get involved in this, thanks again France, you've led us into to 2 wars that you couldnt win by yourselves. But this war taught America that it was not invincible and defeat was possible

6. The Soviet War in Afghanistan
If we had let USSR just take Afghanistan instead of training troops (ehem Osama) and giving them weapons, the threat of terrorism might be much less. How is this more important than Vietnam and the computer? Simple. We caused 9-11 by getting involved in this. If you don't agree, I dont care, because it's true.

5. The atomic bomb
Inspired a new wave of weaponry that will one day destroy the entire world when N.Korea and Iran get a hold of nukes. I think Henry Truman wished he could have had a mulligan on this decision.

4. The Treaty of Guadelupe Hidalgo
To end the Mexican American War the U.S. acquired Texas, Califronia, and New Mexico, allowing the United States to expand behond the Mississippi River. Jeez, if this never happened all that land would be Mexico. Then we would have real problems

3. Immigration
Well, you and I may not be here if it wasn't for the U.S.'s "open border" policy that allowed a flood of immigrants to come in. The American Dream was born, as were a ton of poor Irish children. But the flood of immigrants can be seen as the reason for America's economic prowess today.


2. Emancipation Proclomtion
Obviously, inspired the assasination of Lincoln, freedom, the civil war, and the South become even more stupid and ignorant towards Blacks.

1. 9/11
Yeah, I know too obvious. But it's changed everything about American life. Airport security, colored threat levels, increased security everywhere, Iraq, Afghanistan, oil prices, ethnic violence and racism, constant spreading of fear by the media, and paranoia, paranoia, paranoia. 9/11 has brought fear into the lives of the average American, not to mention destabilizing an already destabilized region in the middle east. 9/11 will spread terrorism. 9/11 changed the future in more ways than imaginable.